i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
