my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
