so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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