Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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