did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
