if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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