when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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