You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
