how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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