I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
