Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
