It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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