Michael Bay diarrhea
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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