so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize