He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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