i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
