apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
