it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When did angry sex become our thing?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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