How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
