his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
