some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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