she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
