Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
