I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
