I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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