I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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