My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
