I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
smell my finger.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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