Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
