What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just crazy horny about you
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
