Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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