Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
