He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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