we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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