Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
