Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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