I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
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