somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
