I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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