Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
