I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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