i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
