when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
