Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
