So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize