Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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