I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
