Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
