you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You made out with two different species that night
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
