I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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