i just wanna soil my oats bro
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
