dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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