Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i dont even know how to be here
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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