just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
