You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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