Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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