Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Still dying that you shit outside
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
