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• (914): View more from New York

  I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.

  (917): View more from New York City

  why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

  (850): View more from Florida

  I guess we all know what he was cookin.

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• (914): View more from New York

  After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.

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• (559): View more from California

  I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"

  (602): View more from Arizona

  And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra

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