I think my vagina is haunted
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
