So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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