I wish I could teleport
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
