She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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